Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Anger management

I deleted every post i wrote about the case that upset me yesterday after finding out that noone really understood that i felt hurt by a self-imposing moron. I don't need explanations about how he meant or hadn't meant what he wrote. He lets others do this job, he doesn't go down on my level to answer my personally, so i can stop the discussion at this point, it's senseless to talk with his ground troops.
He always writes stupid things like that, pissing people off, he's a loose cannon and perhaps he will go for one of those schmocks who try to talk me into thinking, i was pissed on by him by my own fault and wonder why i don't seem to agree with it. They will not remember my claims then, but they will rant about being kicked in the back as well when it happens. I won't bother or even react. I can stay away from things like that and i can let them be happy with their self righteous attitude, assuring themselves and each other that they must have been right to prevent themselves from thinking about what i wrote, living in their world of good (them) and evil (everyone else).
I'm not even angry now, just a bit disappointed. It just does not make sense to me to go on with an argument with hysteric people who don't bother to read what i wrote but just answer to their simplified ideas of what i "really" meant.
One more reason for deleting the posts: Theres this person, that starts to troll at every single post i write, making it impossible to have a decent conversation. That's so boring and the times that i found it funny to play with people like her are long over. I'm too old for shit like this.

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

Coming Back To Life

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of lifeand the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun
(David Gilmour)

Monday, April 07, 2003

Last Time

It's just like the last time
The part where I try to deny
That she's already said goodbye
Time and time again I find that I'm
Lying quiet by her side
Wondering what she's got to hide
This time

I guess I'm just a pastime
Something to keep her occupied
'Til she decides to let it slide
And we both know she'll come back on the fly
And she'll pretend I've got my pride

But I don't understand why every time
I get ripped all up inside
Then I…give it one more try
So let this be the last time
Let this well of mine run dry
So I don't have to watch my cry
This time when she goes I'll be resigned

Let me shut the door behind her
Let me put her from my mind
Let my spirit grow unkind
Let her be the one to find
That I…give it one more try
Try it one more time
This will be the last time
That last time
The last time

(by Joss Whedon)