Wednesday, January 30, 2002

If there were nothing else there were at least myself...
What should i say now. Standing in front of the brightest Star of them all i asked how to cope with all this - what am i doing here anyway, what is it that always drives me out, walking, wandering, flying around and always trying to save what can't be saved. He said, you could just give up your stupid, arrogant claim for neutrality, this would give you a lot of friends on your side and foes on the other. You could stop thinking over all your actions again and again, because either side you take - there will be the comfort of someone telling you what is right and just.
I can't fight the feeling, that he likes me to be neutral. Perhaps he knows, that as long as i am on the grey path i am not lost for him. Perhaps he does not want me to be his enemy. I would like to be sure, that this is not for political reasons but just because somehow he likes me.