"What else, for christ sake!" - Problem is, there are still some working areas in my life. Still a few friends and people who care for me. So there are plenty possibilities for some more new disappointments and crappy developments. I know, that sounds like a selffulfilling prophecy. But i just don't know how to handle all this. There are friends - well former friends - of mine, telling everyone they meet that they don't like me and what kind of asshole i am. I don't even know, what made them angry about me in the first place (I asked, of course, but the answer was that they don't have grudges against me and everything is ok), and i don't know, why they feel the urge, that everyone should know that i'm a bad person.
I don't want to think about all this, really. Those former friends are not my concern anymore, i can live with that, really. My only point here is, that i lost friends, i did not want to lose, but hey, in time it will pass into oblivion. No, what really pisses me off is the amount of all those different but concurrent events, that hack into my life from all directions that really wears me out at the time. I am losing every grip to steadiness. It paralizes me. And i thought, last year was atrocious...
