Failed to use the day

I should not be alone, i guess. I didn't do anything. I just sat around or tried to make something inspirational. I played some piano but it were just some lame finger exercises. I tried to draw something but it looks like a beginners sketch.
At least, i did some sword practice. Perhaps that was good for my back.

Walking In The Air

We're walking in the air
We're floating in the moonlit sky
The people far below are sleeping as we fly

I'm holding very tight
I'm riding in the midnight blue
I'm finding I can fly so high above with you

Far across the wold
The villages go by like trees
the rivers and the hills
The forest and the streams

Children gaze open mouth
Taken by suprise
Nobody down below believes their eyes

We're surfing in the air
We're swimming in the frozen sky
We're drifting over icy
mountains floating by

Suddenly swooping low on an ocean deep
Arousing of a mighty monster from its sleep

We're walking in the air
We're floating in the midnight sky
And everyone who sees us greets us as we fly

(Howard Blake)

About those songs

One habit in this notebook has become, that i put lyrics of those songs into it, that catch my attention. Sometimes just with one line or a single verse. It often relates to my actual mood, but not necessarily to my actual situation in life.

Oh Baby

The cracks in the ground grin up at me
Even the creases in my shoes smile up at me
Thought it would end in tragedy
But I'm swimming around in your glory

O Baby O maybe
I'm the lost and found

Look at the stars they're raining down
Even these jewels want to kiss your crown
Don't be afraid it's just your face
Has that effect on heavens' treasure case

O Baby O maybe
You're a paragon

I haven't felt this way before
Impossible to ask for more
Unanswered prayers that went before
Lie like leaves upon the floor

Hang all the world and universe
When I'm with you they always seem perverse
I'm in a state of weightlessness
When I inhale your angel breath

O Baby O maybe
I'm the lost and found

(Siouxie and the Banshees)

Some things need time

I seem to have spent all march and half of april in another world. Perhaps i still need some more time, because it still is hard to think about what happened and why. Perhaps this is my main fault, i always think that there must be a reason for the things that happen. But sometimes there are just circumstances that you can't fight.
One problem i am gnawling at is still there: I seem to have an issue with expectations. I'm asking myself, why i have the strong urge to deliver. Even when i know, they are too high or even when i know that i'm not able to escape the high pressure of circumstances, that just are against it. I should learn sometimes, that i can't satisfy everyone, and when i try to, that i will dissipate my energy into so many different topics and to so many persons that i will disappoint them all.
Then, at worst, they leave me.
It's my own fault, anyway, because in my urge to cope with the expectations, i'm giving the impression, that i am that great. That i am easily able to deliver. But i'm not. Perhaps, i should say that soon enough, next time.

When I'm good

I seem to be really good. I seem to have developed the ability to swiftly find the right attitude to handle most of the things, events, problems or persons i am surrounded with. I like that, and i'm really happy about the fact, that i am not the only one who sees that. I get a lot of feedback from people, whose thoughts about me are really important to me. I'm especially proud of her answer to my question about us being odd, after me having some very strange, irritating hostile arguments with people, whom i thought to mean well with me. She said, no. We are great. Right, we are.

Breeze

okay, that really was more than a breeze! It didn't get me anywhere high, but those were busy weeks. They helped me out of useless thoughts. Now, i would be happy about something nice just for me.