I'm not sure how much of the time is spend, how much of the money i earn and how of the work i do belong to my own life. But i can see, it's not much and it's getting lesser every day. Perhaps thats because a vacuum does not hold on and if i don't use my time, money or work for my own life, someone and something else will take the opportunity to rush in.
I feel tricked, though. By my belief in loyalty and friendship. I always thought, that being generous and loyal will be rewarding in the end. But contrary: It seems to result in more and higher demands, not in appreciation. See, i don't need much in exchanche. But i not only get nothing, i get mistrust, which is not fair. It hurts. And i fear i can never explain it, because when i get angry about it, there is not even the slightest sign of understanding about what really angers me.
